Hidden Life
by 3inthemornin
Summary: Sirius is abused at home and returns to Hogwarts for his 4th year in worse shape then ever before after Christmas Break. Will the other Marauders finally discover his secret? DISCONTINUED DUE TO MY LACK OF INTEREST sorry
1. Chapter 1

Sirius sat shivering in the snow outside. The snowflakes brushed his cheeks and landed on his eyelids but he didn't move. The boy was contemplated how he felt about this new form of abuse his parents had concocted. For the past 3 days he had been shut outside in a small area. Once a day he was served a small amount of stale bread. Debated on weather being cold or bruises, cuts, and burs were worse when a chunk of bread and glass of water appeared beside him, the pop that accompanied it alerted Sirius to its presence and he fell on it hungrily. It was nothing new that his parents were almost starving him but this was when he was cold it made it so much worse. After eating half the bread Sirius saved the rest, knowing he would be hungry later and resumed his thoughts, trying to distract himself from the violent shivering and tried to pull himself into a tighter ball.

A few hours later a harsh cough escaped Sirius' lips and he was startled out of his dreamland. After a few more coughs Sirius' breathing was back to normal and he took a sip of the water, enjoying the feel on his throat but the temperature of the water causing him to shiver even more. Staring up at the sky he tried to guess what time it was and when his parents would let him back inside. He couldn't even remember what he had done this time to piss them off so much. It was probably his "blood traitor" friends or some other nonsense like that. As another cough tore out of his body he thanked the fact that there were only 6 more days until Christmas break was over and he was finally heading back to Hogwarts for his 4th year.

Two days later Sirius was so happy to be back inside he almost forgot about the terrors that could be inflicted inside, although he was happy that they couldn't do him too much visible damage or else people would know since he wounds wouldn't have time to recover, but he was wrong. Although the Black manor was somewhat cold Sirius relaxed in what felt like extreme warmth to him, but this was a bad idea. The next thing he knew the pointy end of a shoe caused him to fall forwards and he was lying on the floor, face down, with a heal digging into his back. Sirius tried to crawl away but the heel was dug deeper into his back and Sirius winced with pain and stopped moving, for fear his mother would break the skin. However his mother smiled and dug the heel into his skin, using the sharp side, until blood was pouring out of the wound and his mother's heel was somewhat embedded in his back.

Putting all her weight on his back Sirius' mother bent down and whispered in her son's ear, "Welcome back inside son. Hopefully now you will remember not to spend time with your filthy friends, especially outside of school." Sirius gasped in pain as his mother dug her heel in a little deeper then walked off. Sirius slowly got up and started to drag himself to his room before his father got home in two hours remembering why he had been left out in the snow.

**Flashback**

"Mother?" Sirius asked tentatively.

"What you insolent son?" she had snapped with scorn.

"Well I was wondering if I could visit my friends during this break?"

"Which friends?" she asked icily, "Have you finally come to your senses and decided to hang out with wizards who share our pure blood?"

Sirius swallowed, "The Potter's," he said tentatively hoping his mother wouldn't remember their views on wizards with muggle parents although he knew she would.

His mother glared at him, "Well I see that you still do not understand what it is to be a Black." With that she stood up and walked over to him and smacked him across the face so that her ornate and gem encrusted rings scraped his face, drawing blood. She gave him a nasty smile as she left, full of malice and planning. _Well it was worth a chance, _Sirius thought to himself, _at least the punishment was bad at all._

**End flashback**

_It was a bad punishment, _Sirius corrected himself in hindsight, as he sat alone in his room bandaging his back. Sighing he lay back on his bed, only to wince in pain and quickly turn to his side. He suddenly let out a harsh coughing fit, wincing at the pain in his throat. Over the other 2 days in the cold his cough had gotten steadily worse and Sirius hoped it would go away before he went to Hogwarts because he never got sick. He had decided by the end of his punishment that the 5 days and 6 nights spent outside was one of the worst he had ever faced. Despite it all Sirius was happy to back inside and quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.

Sirius awoke to the sensation of falling onto the hard floor. He looked up and saw his father looming over him, a displeased look on his face. Sirius scrambled to quickly stand up and fought the wave of dizziness. He looked at his father.

"Stupid woman," his father boomed, looking down at his son disappointedly, "She let you out so early. I would have left you there at least another day or two. No matter, it would have been a problem it you had contracted frostbite." Without a warning Orion Black raised his hand and smacked it across Sirius' other cheek so hard that it echoed. Sirius just stood there, mutely. _If only my friends could see me now, _he mused, _hah they think of me as the brave and loud spoken one. Yet here I am just sitting here and taking his abuse like a coward. Sometimes I fight back though, _another part of him reasoned, _it's just because I'm still cold and tired from my time outside. _But as he tried to tell himself these things he knew he was just lying and he was a coward in his heart.

Several punches and a couple kicks to the ribs later Sirius lay sprawled in front of his father, gasping for breath. Orion hauled his son up by his collar and punched him hard in the stomach, Sirius gasped and tried not to throw up as his father did it again and again. When he had tired of that Orion sat Sirius on a stool and muttered a spell to himself. Then slowly, painstakingly slowly, he traced his wand across Sirius' skin. Wherever it touched a deep cut appeared. Across his chest, back, thighs, and arms he carved into Sirius' skin. Finally he came around to his face and started the gouge his face too.

"Wait," Sirius yelled out, Orion gave him a venomous glace but Sirius continued, "If you cut my face people will kno-"

"Silence you impertinent boy!" Orion boomed, "If you do not think that I can make these scars disappear you will be disappointed. Then he proceeded to carve on Sirius' face. Seemingly Satisfied Orion took a step back and admired his handiwork, allowing himself a thin smile. Summoning a potion from downstairs Orion proceeded to dip his finger into the black liquid and smear it into one of Sirius' cuts. Sirius' body went taunt and his back arched from the pain. Clamping his mouth together he promised himself that he wouldn't make a sound as it felt like the cut was rotting from the inside and being burned at the same time. The cut went from burning hot to icy cold and back again and Sirius' didn't know how long he could stand the pain.

Orion smiled with his success and directed the potion to each one of Sirius's cuts at the same time and Sirius fell off the chain in pain, writhing on the floor. His whole body ached and he felt like his head was splitting apart. He felt like he was being attacked by an army of house elves and they were all stabbing him with knives. Finally the potion's affect eased and Sirius dragged himself into the chair.

Orion then healed Sirius's cuts on his face, but in a way so that the energy needed to complete the spell came from Sirius. Then Orion walked downstairs to join his wife Walburga and his perfect son, Regulus, in dinner leaving Sirius sprawled over the chair with no strength left and covered in blood and black potion.


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius stood alone at Platform 9¾ staring at all the happy families tiredly. After he was taken out of the snow he had been constantly abused by his mother and father and hadn't been allowed to sleep for those four long days. In addition to the healing spells he was more drained than he had ever been in his entire life and he felt like he was going to pass out. Suddenly Orion grabbed him and pulled him behind a column, his hands grabbing Sirius's cheeks and shoulders painfully.

"I don't want to hear about you associating with blood traitors and mudbloods this year. Do I make myself clear?" Orion snarled at his eldest son.

"Yes sir," Sirius whispered weakly, his father had made it painfully clear.

"Good. Now go to school and I will trust you to uphold your part of the Black family name, the small amount of it that you have not tarnished. And don't think you can hide it from me boy because Regulus will be watching."

"Yes sir." The hands were released and Sirius stumbled away into the crowd while Orion resumed praising his _true_ son, Regulus.

As soon as James spotted Sirius he wanted to call out to him but before he could he saw Sirius's father pull him aside. He knew it couldn't be could. When Sirius reemerged James could tell he wasn't doing well. Sirius always returned from home skinny and sullen but this year it had been taken to a new level, James knew Sirius hated going home and things weren't good for him there but James wondered if he had been underestimating it until that moment.

Sirius felt relieved the moment he stepped onto the train and was almost happy. The same thing happened every time he went home but this year things had gotten much worse for him and although he knew he wouldn't listen to what his father said he was already scared for summer break. Moving quickly Sirius collapsed in the nearest empty compartment. When he sat down he closed his eyes, he was tired and wasn't ready to face his friends quite yet. But his body chose that moment to let him explode into a violent coughing fit, his little cough had been betting worse but Sirius knew it would just go away soon enough. Sighing he felt his headache come back in full force as he stretched out and felt the soreness in his muscles. Closing his eyes again he fell asleep almost instantly.

"Where's Padfoot?" Remus asked, "Has anyone seen him yet?" The 3 boys had just finished greeting each other in the station.

"I saw him," James stated reluctantly, not wanting to think about it, "He was with his parents and went strait to the train. I don't know what happened but he looks really bad Moony," James continued, sighing. "But on a lighter note," James continued, trying to raise everyone's spirits, "I did some researching over break and I think I discovered a way for Padfoot and I to help Peter turn into an animagus. Then, finally, all three of us can join you."

"T-thanks Prongs," Peter squeaked, overjoyed.

"Well that's good Prongs. Peter, have you decided what you want your animal to be?" Remus pressed.

"Ummm….. Well maybe something small so I can run away?" Peter ventured nervously, "I mean P-prongs and Padfoot can keep you in check so I could stop the Whomping Willow?"

"That sounds fine Peter, we'll figure the details out later. For now lets just get on the train," James said and he led the others over to the train, and eventually to the compartment where Sirius was sleeping.

Sirius stiffened and immediately woke up when the others joined him in the compartment, relaxing when he saw who it was.

Sirius yawned and rubbed as he sat up asking, "How was your break?"

"I think the real question is what happened during yours. You look terrible Padfoot," James stated bluntly.

"Nothing," Sirius said, masking his emotions, "I just spent most of the time in my room, avoiding my parents. I got into a few fights with them. Nothing interesting. My insomnia got worse, as usual. Jeez Prongs, when did you become a mother hen?" Sirius continued, cracking a weak smile.

Remus, Peter, and James exchanged a look, knowing there was more to the story but they didn't push it, knowing that Sirius would tell them when he was ready, if ever. Knowing that if they tried to push it Sirius would just clam up and make some more excuses that no one believed. Feeling resigned, unable to hurt their obviously hurting friend they moved the talk on to turning the final Marauder, Peter, into an animagus while Sirius slowly fell back to sleep.

Sorry it's been the story's been kinda slow. I'll try to speed it up but I won't be posting for at least a while days cuz I'm on vacation and there's no internet Sorry.

Please R&R it makes me want to write ;)


	3. Chapter 3

"Paff fwe fwa gwayvay Pas," James managed through a mouth full of food. All the Marauders laughed and Sirius passed the large jug of gravy to his best friend. All the Marauders were happy and felt like everything that could possibly go wrong had left them for the moment and they were just four best friends enjoying the best night of their lives. As Sirius refilled his plate for a third time he wondered how much more he could eat. He was hungry but since he hadn't eaten much recently he didn't know how much he could handle. _Oh well, _he figured, _I'll just eat until I can't stuff anything more down my throat. _Grinning, he proceeded to load his plate even higher.

Sirius was curled up in the alcove in front of the large window staring out at the almost full moon. The full moon had been a few nights ago so they had nothing to worry about. It was 2 in the morning and, as usual, he still wasn't tired. Sirius felt the happy feeling returning to his body now that he was away from home and his mind wandered aimlessly while he stared at the twinkling stars. His peaceful moment was wrecked but a sudden harsh coughing. Sirius struggled to keep his breath as the deep wracking coughs poured out. Finally, they stopped and he let out a deep sigh. Glancing over at the Marauder's, he made sure they were all still asleep. If they had heard him they would have told him that he was sick, but he knew that he was NOT sick. He never ever got sick, and now wouldn't be the time to start. Sirius leaned back against the wall with an intense sneeze. Starting to relax again he stared up at the stars.

A few hours later Sirius yawned. Deciding to go to sleep Sirius swung of the alcove and was hit with a sudden wave of dizziness. He sat on the floor, breathing deeply, while he tried to summon the strength to stand up. Trying again the dizzy feeling returned, accompanied with nausea. Desperately Sirius half crawled to the bathroom as quick as he could and went to the toilet. But he didn't barf. Sirius lay, curled up, on the cold bathroom floor for an hour. He kept feeling like he was about to throw up, but never did. Finally it passed and Sirius stumbled to his bed and immediately fell asleep.

Remus slowly opened his eyes to the sound of his alarm beeping. Shaking his head he pressed the snooze button and fell onto his pillows, knowing Sirius would wake him up soon if not now. Sirius' insomnia kept his sleep time to about 4 ½ hours and he would be up right now. About a minute later Remus' eyes shot open as he bolted up. Looking around no one was up but him. _Wha? _ Remus thought sleepily _Why isn't Sirius up yet? Usually by now he would be jumping on top of my bed until I got up… But he's still sleeping… Maybe he just forgot that he actually needed to wake up since it isn't break and he went to bed too late… _Remus slowly threw off his covers and went to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. Shuffling out he realized that he should wake the others. He decided he would start with Sirius since he was the best at waking people up and it was his fault they were almost late to breakfast anyways.

"PADFOOT!" Remus yelled into his ear. When Sirius didn't stir a grin spread across his face as he got on top of his bed.

Jumping on his bed Remus yelled at the top of his lungs, "SIRIUS BLACK WAKE UP RIGHT NOW!" Sure enough Sirius bolted upright, almost hitting his head on Remus' leg.

"What the bloody hell are you doing Moony?" Sirius said angrily, "And why the bloody hell did you say my last name! You know I hate it!"

"Sorry mate," Remus replied cheekily, "I thought you might need some help waking up since you neglected to wake all of us up." He smiled. By now James and Peter were up and laughing at the scene on Sirius' bed. But their smiles faded as Sirius groaned and lay back down, trying to smother himself in covers. Usually Sirius was always a morning person and jumped out of bed as soon as he could, this was unlike him.

Exchanging curious looks with the others James asked, "You all right Pads?"

"Yea," Sirius replied reluctantly, wanting to seem normal he retorted, "Just sick of your squealing whiny girlish voices."

James grinned, "What mate, have you decided to become normal like the rest of us and stop bugging us to watch the sunrise with you?"

"You know Prongs, I have given up on that one," Sirius said before launching himself out of bed and tackling James with a grin on his face. But the fun stopped when Sirius suddenly started hacking.

"You ok?" Remus asked when the coughing died down.

"Course, it's just," Sirius hesitated, "dusty in here. Come on, I'm starving lets head to breakfast." Distracted with the thought of breakfast the Marauder's dressed quickly and ran down the stairs to the Great Hall, anxious to see everyone.

Last night everyone had been so tired they had gone right to sleep and James was eager to show Lily that he still loved her. James, along with Sirius, used to flirt with every girl in school until the beginning of the year when he had decided he was in love with Lily Evans.

The Marauder's sat down together at the end of the Gryffindor table, the only place with space. Piling their plates with food the boys dug in while Sirius picked at the small amount of bacon on his plate. Luckily for Sirius, this went unnoticed by the other Marauder's because Audrey Calverts, one of the hottest girls in the school, and her two best friends, Camilla and Rose slid into seats next to them. Everyone knew that on the first night back it was taboo to talk to the Marauder's if you weren't one but the next morning they were fair game.

"Hey sexy," Audrey said to Sirius as she kissed his cheek. Sirius and Audrey had had a thing before break and everyone could see that she was eager to continue it. Sirius turned and pulled Audrey into a deep kiss, showing that he was just fine with their fling continuing. Audrey giggled as Sirius kissed her neck and Remus and James rolled their eyes at each other. Meanwhile Peter was trying to flirt with Rose. But she was oblivious and only interested in trying to make James forget about Lily.

"R-rose," Peter stammered, "I-I like your hair. I-it l-looks really really pretty today!"

"Thanks Peter," Rose smiled, "Your always just the nicest friend," Rose pecked him on the cheek as he blushed furiously, "So James, how was your break?"

"Fine," James answered oblivious to her pulling down her shirt a bit as he searched the room for Lily.

"Well," Rose continued, "Mine was pretty boring. You know since we live so close next break we should get together. Maybe it won't we so boring when the two of us are together," Rose smiled at him. James spared her a quick glance and smile. Rose's shoulders slumped.

Meanwhile Camilla was feeding Remus small bites of his food, interchanging them with kisses every once in a while. They had been going out for several months now and they were in the newlywed couple stage. Camilla and Remus were spending every other second giggling and kissing and if Sirius wasn't so busy with Audrey he would have been vomiting in disgust.

"Hey guys," James whispered urgently, "There's Lily. She looks amazing. I should go talk to her and tell her that her hair looks absolutely beautiful. I wonder if she went on vacation over break because she looks really tanned. I hope she missed me as much as I missed her. Wow, she looks more beautiful than ever…" Sirius, Remus, Peter, Camilla, and Audrey laughed while Rose rolled her eyes and pouted.

"I'm gonna go talk to her," he announced, "Wish me luck!" Audrey shot Rose a sympathetic look before Sirius started to tickle the back of her neck with his tongue and she giggled. Turning, she kissed him again as his hands slid under the bottom of her shirt.

"S-so Rose," Peter said, trying to get her attention, "What classes do you have? Maybe we have some together?" Before she could answer the bell rang and the Remus, Peter and Sirius said a long goodbye full of kisses to Audrey, Camilla, and Rose as the Marauder's went off to the Gryffindor common room while the girls giggled all the way to the Ravenclaw common room.

I'm really sorry for taking so long! I had finals and break where we went on vacation and I had to leave behind my beloved laptop Well finally I'm back on schedule, sorta, and ya! Thanks again for reading and I'll try to be quicker next time.

THANKS!!!! And please R&R


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